6 Steps to the Insta-Perfect Vacation
6 Very Real & Very Serious Steps to Curating the Ultimate Holiday
Since it's inception, Instagram has gone from overly filtered, grainy and vignetted group pics at a bar to a more curated, HQ glimpse into one's life. Well mine has at least. I often run into old friends in person, or get messages saying, "Omg your life looks so amazing!" - the truth is you're obviously only seeing an edited highlight reel of my topsy-turvy life, and that's exactly how I think one should live. If you follow me on various social channels you may be aware that I recently moved to a new house in East London. Inside the gated complex sits the multi-level flat - complete with tribal wallpapered accent walls and chic Hermes plates to hold my keys. What you may have "missed" was the clusterfuck of the move, waiting an extra day to have the carpets cleaned, my bed being delivered late (hence a two-night hotel stay followed by a week of sleeping on a mattress on my living room floor)... But you missed it for a reason.
I've spent the week (on the floor) reflecting on past trips, dreaming of a much-need vacation and thinking about what it takes to curate the ultimate holiday....
STEP 1
Choose your destination and accomodations based on aesthetics alone. Whether it's an AIR BNB or 5-star hotel, look at pictures from every angle, pack outfits to match your surroundings, just so you can caption your photos #AccidentalCoordination. Check the proximity to local landmarks, and plan looks to match those too. Skip the posts I've written on packing for a quick getaway and just bring all the craziest clothes you own!
Bonus : Change multiple times throughout the day... were you gone for 3 days or was it really 6? how else will you have time to wear EVERYTHING you pack!
STEP 2
Order everything you like on the menu, and request (Demand!) a seat near the window (for perfect lighting). Avocado + Smoked Salmon, Pancakes, Steak & Eggs? Can't decide... order all 3! Spread them out across the table. Take pictures. Lots. Don't be embarrassed to get up on your chair for the perfect shot, you'll never see any of these people again! Have a bite of each, and then flip through your photos until your food is cold and you aren't hungry anymore, but you've captured the pic.
STEP 3
Hire a Photographer. Have them follow you around day and night. Vary the distances they follow at - this will ensure a healthy mix of close ups and full body pics. Don't let the photographer out of your sight however, you wouldn't want to miss capturing all those perfectly "candid" #IwokeUpLikeThis moments!
STEP 4
Now that you've got some outfit and food shots... it's time to upload and share! But don't make the rookie mistake of flooding your friend's feeds with 5 or 17 (true story!) photos at a time. It reeks of desperation and of finally finding free wifi. Instead space the photos out over the course of your trip [and even a few days after your home;)] to incite maximum FOMO.
STEP 5
Boomerang. Consider whether or not the Boomerang is absolutely necessary -if something is truly only able to be captured in a 3-sec looping video then limit yourself to ONE boomerang per trip. If it isn't -save the fun, video-worthy moments for Snapchat or your Insta-story.
STEP 6
Order a bottle. You're on freaking vacation, after all, so just order the damn bottle. No one has to wake up and go to work in the morning - and this way no one can count who's drank what. Order a bottle and keep 'em coming. Bonus points for vacation destinations with a phone line reserved strictly for drink requests!
If you follow these simple 6 steps, you're sure to return to work with a gaggle of envious coworkers, more photos than you could possibly upload and a near-empty chequing account!
Cheers!