Is this still on?

a tech reset brings reflections on the year past, and (never) saying goodbye.

They say a Sunday well spent brings a week of content. In my case, it was a Saturday morning spent recovering from one too many Mezcal negronis and the rest of Saturday and Sunday getting set up on my new phone.

More time than I care to share at the Apple Store and multiple resets later I am now back to business. Something weird happens when you get a new phone - no matter how many times you back it up it's never quite the same. My last back-up to the cloud was 15 minutes before purchasing the new one. Yet when I turned on my phone it had reverted to late September. A few messages from Friday had vanished from Whatsapp and the ones I'd seen come through during resets #5-8 had disappeared too.

Going through my apps to see what else was missing - I stumbled across Squarespace and realized it had been almost a year since I'd last written on here. I couldn't let a full year lapse so I set a simple goal of sharing *something* today.

Rather than try to whittle down the content of 52 Sundays into one post, I decided to tackle the pink elephant in the proverbial room.

Why hadn't I blogged in almost a year? And what had gone on in the months since my last post?

It's not because nothing was happening. Some might say too much had gone on. And I'd documented it - just in different ways (more on the switch to analog cameras later!).

For one I'd travelled to 8 countries since my last post (many more than once), and am now *almost* settled in my new home in Brooklyn. Further calculations tell me that I spent 6 of the past 12 months without a fixed address. I've slept in more friend's guest rooms, Airbnbs, and hotels than I can even attempt to count.

I never got to say bye to the house I'd made a home for two years.
I never got to say goodbye to my Uncle before he passed.
And I don't think I'll ever fully say farewell to London.

But back to the sharing or lack thereof.

My self-reflection began in August, likely because the dust of my new life had finally settled and the excitement of a big NY move loomed.

Or maybe the self-analysis was brought on by another trip around the sun as I planned a low-key (by my standards) birthday. The joy I'd once got from sharing daily snippets of my life was taken from me. The same for Whatsapp and phones in general. I wanted to throw my phone away, never 100% sure my location and every conversation weren't still tracked. I became super cautious about who I took pictures with and when I did post on stories it was always with a massive delay or sans location - just in case.

There were days this summer when I thought that quitting social media (both personally and professionally) would be the only solution. But the thought of quitting was unfathomable. I owed it to my colleagues and clients to get back in the game. At work, I'd force myself onto Instagram or Twitter and stare blankly at the screen. People would ask about the 'Old TK' and it wasn't until months later that a wise woman said to me: 'It's not about finding the Old TK, this is who you are now. An evolved TK.'

I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing individuals who leaned in when I needed it the most. Sharing on social brought me my current and past 2 jobs (it went down in the DMs!) and all the fantastic experiences that have come from them. Social Media -whether as a freelancer or as part of a big agency- has quite literally taken me around the world. And I've met so many wonderful people (many of whom are now forever friends) because of it.

Last year my partner was insistent that I, 'find a real job' or one with meaning. with purpose. Or one with more regular hours and less travel. There were even times when my education came into question.

Today I am proud to say that through work I've ticked off some pretty meaningful bucket list items (from World Humanitarian Day to The World Economic Forum) that are worlds away from fashion shows, selfies or #shoefies.

The beauty is that both worlds can coexist. Welcome to my world.

I'll wrap this up (I was never any good at short stories) by saying that this weekend I walked and walked. The sun was shining. Everything looked picturesque - but my phone hadn't been set up - so I took pictures with my eyes instead. Little reminders to revisit with my polaroid camera.

No music played, no calls or texts came, I was disconnected from the world and it felt good.

I remembered the times that a friend said they'd tried a recipe I shared, visited somewhere I'd recommended, or simply ‘liked’ a pic I was proud of. And that felt good too.

Whether it's still just my mom who reads this or if I can continue to reach others - I should keep on sharing because it's something I like to do.

And never allow anyone to dim my light again.